Quality Culture in A Family

Monday, May 04, 2015

Quality Culture in A Family

Family is a mini society. People with different temperaments, values and beliefs live together under a single roof to have peace and contentment at the family level is essential if we want it in the society and nation but we cannot change anybody. That includes family members this world is an intricately interwoven web of relationship. To mange this well, we have to change ourselves and our perceptions. The programme for Building a Quality Culture in the Family, we have to deal with many sensitive matters like ego, communication, aligning values and principles etc. let us remember the importance of the following points.

Your family can be heaven or hell. It all depends on you as you are the one creating happiness or unhappiness because of the way you think.

Problems are inside out. Never outside in.

Conscience always directs us to the right way

Accepting people as they are is right way to start with.

Parents are the first teachers.

Ego kills harmony in the family.,

We are all millionaires . The body , mind, heart and soul are invaluable gifts of God has given to us.

We should learn from the tree . it is always giving! The roots are our perceptions the stem is our attitude and leaves are our behavior. If we want our behavior to change , we have to change our perceptions.

If you want a rose, you have to accept the thorns.

The mind talks everything knows nothing. The hart knows everything talks nothing.

Words create a lot of trouble . Talking is an art. It is also a science . Practice how to talk , how much to talk, when to talk and what to talk. Whenever we talk, we talk from our point of view. Try talking from the other person’s point of view.

The power of the spoken word is so great that you can create a reaction in someone forever!

There are four kinds of listening 1 ignore, 2 Pretend ;3 selective, 4 Attentive; Listening with eyes ears and mind;

As Alwin Tofler said. “the future illiterate will not be those who cannot read but those who cannot learn.

Pray as if everything depends upon God and work as if everything depended upon man.

Quote from the True charm and Power of Vedanta

Besides prayer and worship, association with advanced souls is also of great value in the development of Bhakti . it is said that even a moments association with a holy person serves as a boat in which the ocean of the good fortune to know a true saint, he gets a glimpse of the Ideal realized in life and is often impelled t seek such a realization himself. Many persons refuse to believe n the help that can be received from a Guru, or spiritual teacher. According to them there is no necessity for an intermediary in religious life because light can come direct from the source of all lights. This view may be partially the result of the reaction caused b the finding of many false Gurus who have often make a trade of religion. But barring such exceptions. Thee is as much necessity of a genuine teacher in the sphere of religion as in other walks of life. Although theoretically a person can have education without a teacher, almost all send their children to schools and colleges . similarly , it is no doubt possible to realize God without any help from outside but such a possibility will only be within the capacity of  very rare and exceptional soul; all others must depend on help from more advanced souls, Fortunate, indeed , is the Bhakta who comes across a Guru who is a man of realization or a highly advanced soul, for such a Guru not only instructs, but I sable to transmit to his disciple the strength and power necessary to carry out instructions.

But, if He exists?

I drive joy There was a doctor in Benaras who spent 7 minutes in the morning and evening for mediation on God. Knowing this, his colleagues and friends laughed at him. One day they argued that he was wasting ten precious minutes on something, which he had been misled into believing. The doctor replied, “Well, if God does not exist, I agree that I am wasting ten minutes a day. But, if He exists? I am afraid you are wasting your entire lifetime. I prefer to waste ten minutes rather than a lifetime. Why should you grudge me the 10 minutes joy that I derive 4m.

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How to maintain harmony in a Joint Family?

 

Monday, 12 November 2012

How to maintain harmony in a Joint Family?

We are living in a world where disagreements are increasing day by day. The joint family system is becoming non-existent. If we try and live in accordance with the following code of behaviour, we could live in harmony and peace, not only within the family but with everyone outside.

Try not to find fault with others . Ignore minor faults completely. When it is necessary to point out major faults, do so lovingly, without hurting the other party. In case of difference of opinion, have a free and frank discussion immediately. Otherwise, differences will grow more and more, mutual love will be eroded, and the stored up differences will explode one day. Talking over the matter then and there , in a friendly spirit, would prevent such extreme situations.

Be ready to sacrifice personal like and dislikes for the sake of others. There will then be no room for differences to arise and consequently peace will prevail. Let us not lift an accusing finger at others. Remember “Who is to blame is not important, only how shall we set the situation right. “

Serve everybody, instead of serving oneself. This will gradually help  removing our ego, our individuality. When this happens our little specific wants, our likes and dislikes (areas of differences in a joint family) will be reduced. Our “wants “ merge with those of others. We become one and there is total peace and harmony.

We should understand that there are different types of people with different styles of actins. If one person is very stubborn, the other should surrender and then later talk to him lovingly about it. If one is continuously stubborn, then part lovingly. If you feel some one is prejudiced against you, you should have love for that person. One day he will understand you and everything will become peaceful and blissful.

Finally , remember that the common  aim is realisation of God and one should work for ti. (Courtesy; “The Vision”)

True friendship is like sound health; the value of it is not known until it is lost.”

Story of Colours

Our world would be a very dull place if there were no colours in it. We see colours everywhere in Nature-in the flowers, rivers, clouds, vegetables, mountains and even the sky. Man has taken the message from Nature and he too has introduced colour in all the things he has made. After all colour is one of the basic ways of identifying things.

But have we ever thought and wondered about what colours are? As most of us are aware, red, yellow and blue are the only primary colours all others colours are a mixture and combination of these three colours. The colours that we make form the primary colours are called secondary colours. If we mix up all the colour we would end up getting a muddy brown colour!

At school , we are aware of only poster colour and water colour but there are many more colours in the market for the professional artists . how these colour are made? Paints are made from powders containing pigments which is the colour, and a substance to make the pigments stick together called a binder. Different types of colours have different types of binders.

Oil paints is a mixture of a pigment and an oil binder. The oil colours do not fade and do not wash off. However they crack if they are not blended properly . acrylic paint is a waterproof and a fast drying medium. It is pigment mixed with a chemical binder. Watercolour and gouache are made from a pigment and a gum binder. Watercolour and gouache are made from a pigment and a gum binder. Gouache has also a white pigment in it the poster colours that we use from the bottles are really gouache.

Apart from these there are oil crayons and pastels. Many artists use soft pastels for drawing but they must be sprayed with a fixative . otherwise they would get solid with spots or stains.

Now –a-days oil colour are even available as oil bares/sticks. It has become very easy for the artist to paint as the does not have to mix the colours and clean the board.

Quote from the True Charm and power of Vedanta

The Vedanta preaches the ideal; and the ideal, as we know, is always far ahead of the real, of the practical, as we may call it. There are two tendencies in human nature; one to harmonise the ideal with the life, and the other to elevate the life to the ideal. It is a great thing to understand this , of the former tendency is the temptation of our life. I think that I can only do a certain ideals of work, most of it, perhaps, is bad; most of it, perhaps, has a motive power of passion behind it, anger, or greed, or selfishness. Now if any man comes to preach to me a certain ideal, the first step towards which is to give up selfishness, to give up self-enjoyment, I think that is impractical. But when a man brings an ideal which can be reconciled with my selfishness, I am glad at once, and jump at it. That is the ideal for me. As the word ‘orthodox’ has been manipulated into versus forms, so has been the word ‘practical’. My doxy is orthodoxy; your doxy is heterodoxy’ . so with practicality. What I think is practical, is to me the only practicality in the world.

But, if He exists?

I drive joy There was a doctor in Benaras who spent 7 minutes in the morning and evening for mediation on God. Knowing this, his colleagues and friends laughed at him. One day they argued that he was wasting ten precious minutes on something, which he had been misled into believing. The doctor replied, “Well, if God does not exist, I agree that I am wasting ten minutes a day. But, if He exists? I am afraid you are wasting your entire lifetime. I prefer to waste ten minutes rather than a lifetime. Why should you grudge me the 10 minutes joy that I derive 4m.

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Monday, 23-June- 2012

Tips For A Successful Joint Family System

If we were to revive and revamp the joint family system. We need to think how we can learn from the mistakes the we made in old joint family system and create a new system with the insight gained from the experiences of nuclear and joint family .

Here ar some hints that can be implemented differently from the old system  to make the ‘joint family system’ a success.

Mutual Love And Respect.

One of the major reason why the present day generation is desperate to break out of the joint family is the attitude of the older generation to impose their views . In some families the father’s word would be the final word and nobody could dare say or do anything against it. Such an autocratic style of leading a family leads to repression and suppression giving rise to feeling of discontentment and unhappiness.

If the joint family system is laid on the founding stone of mutual and genuine  love and respect for each and every member (including children) then the system is sure to be a success. It helps to keep in mind that love, respect and affection are the courtesies that can be only expected  and not demanded. We can expect these precious actions by giving them first . For example, you cannot expect. Your son or your daughter to have respect for your advice and suggestions. If you cannot demonstrate love and respect towards them through your actions and words and by being sensitive to their Individual aspirations and ways of thinking.

Open and  Honest Communications; Family members need to communicate openly and honestly with one another. The elders in the family must encourage and create and environment conducive to open communication. In the absence of such an environment, family members can feel  repressed and suppressed that can lead to discontentment, Non judgmental  listening and demonstrating mutual trust are necessary to help family members open up to one another

One of the reasons that disintegrated the old joint family system was the constant interference and meddling by elders  in the matters of youngsters. Another important aspect of  communication is knowing when NOT to communicate. In other words , it is important to give one another space and respect the boundaries of each other . Living under one roof dos not have to be transgressing the personal space of the members. Personal space is more mental than physical. If a joint family system has to succeed, recognizing and respecting this space is very  important.

Open And Honest Communications.  Family members need to communicate openly and honestly with one another . the elders in the family must encourage and create and environment conducive to open  communication . In the absence of such an environment, family members can feel repressed and suppressed that can lead to discontentment.  Non-judgmental listening and demonstrating mutual trust are necessary to help family members open up to one another.

One of the reasons that disintegrated the old joint family system  was the constant interfere and meddling by elders sin the matter of youngsters. Another important aspect of communication is knowing when NOT to communicate . in other word, it is important to give one another space and respect the boundaries of each other. Living  under one roof does not have be transgressing the personal space of the members. Personal space is more mental than physical . if a joint family system has to succeed, recognizing and respecting this space is very important.

Realistic Expectations Of Members of Members; It is important that members in a joint family system feel accepted fro who they are and as they are. The crucial part of acceptance of one another is acceptance of our own weakens and limitations and that of others. By doing  this , expectations of members for one another become more realistic. Realistic expectations help us to be more tolerant of weaknesses of one another . Having unrealistic expectations of others is often the root cause of disappointments and discontentment

Acknowledgment of And Being Grateful For what it is. When more then one family live together, if brings together members of different strengths. One of the great advantages of this is that different strengths of different members can be potentially enriching to the family and in turn provide a sense of fulfilment to the members. For a joint family system to be a place where the members feel valued and nurtured, acknowledgment of the strengths and different positive aspects that each member brings to the family being grateful for the same is useful and even necessary.

A joint family system also can become a training ground for the future generation to learn and develop attributes and skills of living  in harmony with fellow citizens in a society . if our current family model is reflective of a lifestyle that is based on selfish existence and intolerance to others views when how can we expect the society to be different  A joint family system can help build a society that is more tolerant of personal differences in views and thoughts and whee people appreciate and carry forward the values of mutual respect, love and cooperation. (source. Ideas Exchange)

Quotes from  the true charm and power of Vedanta.

This is the watchword of all religions and religious teachers. Single-hearted love for God is also the aim and object of renunciation. No violence or hardheartedness is necessary in renunciation. It is a natural growth of the heart . when we love God with our whole heart and soul, there is no room for anything else and renunciation become easy. But renouncing does not mean running away from family, friends and relations, or being cruel to them. One can cultivate spirit of renunciation in one’s  home by practising non-attachment and unsafeness. The question may be asked, What do we gain by it? The highest reward for there is no greater good than to love God above all external things and to train knowledge of the Supreme.

But, if He exists?

I drive joy There was a doctor in Benaras who spent 7 minutes in the morning and evening for mediation on God. Knowing this, his colleagues and friends laughed at him. One day they argued that he was wasting ten precious minutes on something, which he had been misled into believing. The doctor replied, “Well, if God does not exist, I agree that I am wasting ten minutes a day. But, if He exists? I am afraid you are wasting your entire lifetime. I prefer to waste ten minutes rather than a lifetime. Why should you grudge me the 10 minutes joy that I derive 4m.

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