7th HAVEN

Monday, 23-June- 2012

Tips For A Successful Joint Family System

If we were to revive and revamp the joint family system. We need to think how we can learn from the mistakes the we made in old joint family system and create a new system with the insight gained from the experiences of nuclear and joint family .

Here ar some hints that can be implemented differently from the old system  to make the ‘joint family system’ a success.

Mutual Love And Respect.

One of the major reason why the present day generation is desperate to break out of the joint family is the attitude of the older generation to impose their views . In some families the father’s word would be the final word and nobody could dare say or do anything against it. Such an autocratic style of leading a family leads to repression and suppression giving rise to feeling of discontentment and unhappiness.

If the joint family system is laid on the founding stone of mutual and genuine  love and respect for each and every member (including children) then the system is sure to be a success. It helps to keep in mind that love, respect and affection are the courtesies that can be only expected  and not demanded. We can expect these precious actions by giving them first . For example, you cannot expect. Your son or your daughter to have respect for your advice and suggestions. If you cannot demonstrate love and respect towards them through your actions and words and by being sensitive to their Individual aspirations and ways of thinking.

Open and  Honest Communications; Family members need to communicate openly and honestly with one another. The elders in the family must encourage and create and environment conducive to open communication. In the absence of such an environment, family members can feel  repressed and suppressed that can lead to discontentment, Non judgmental  listening and demonstrating mutual trust are necessary to help family members open up to one another

One of the reasons that disintegrated the old joint family system was the constant interference and meddling by elders  in the matters of youngsters. Another important aspect of  communication is knowing when NOT to communicate. In other words , it is important to give one another space and respect the boundaries of each other . Living under one roof dos not have to be transgressing the personal space of the members. Personal space is more mental than physical. If a joint family system has to succeed, recognizing and respecting this space is very  important.

Open And Honest Communications.  Family members need to communicate openly and honestly with one another . the elders in the family must encourage and create and environment conducive to open  communication . In the absence of such an environment, family members can feel repressed and suppressed that can lead to discontentment.  Non-judgmental listening and demonstrating mutual trust are necessary to help family members open up to one another.

One of the reasons that disintegrated the old joint family system  was the constant interfere and meddling by elders sin the matter of youngsters. Another important aspect of communication is knowing when NOT to communicate . in other word, it is important to give one another space and respect the boundaries of each other. Living  under one roof does not have be transgressing the personal space of the members. Personal space is more mental than physical . if a joint family system has to succeed, recognizing and respecting this space is very important.

Realistic Expectations Of Members of Members; It is important that members in a joint family system feel accepted fro who they are and as they are. The crucial part of acceptance of one another is acceptance of our own weakens and limitations and that of others. By doing  this , expectations of members for one another become more realistic. Realistic expectations help us to be more tolerant of weaknesses of one another . Having unrealistic expectations of others is often the root cause of disappointments and discontentment

Acknowledgment of And Being Grateful For what it is. When more then one family live together, if brings together members of different strengths. One of the great advantages of this is that different strengths of different members can be potentially enriching to the family and in turn provide a sense of fulfilment to the members. For a joint family system to be a place where the members feel valued and nurtured, acknowledgment of the strengths and different positive aspects that each member brings to the family being grateful for the same is useful and even necessary.

A joint family system also can become a training ground for the future generation to learn and develop attributes and skills of living  in harmony with fellow citizens in a society . if our current family model is reflective of a lifestyle that is based on selfish existence and intolerance to others views when how can we expect the society to be different  A joint family system can help build a society that is more tolerant of personal differences in views and thoughts and whee people appreciate and carry forward the values of mutual respect, love and cooperation. (source. Ideas Exchange)

Quotes from  the true charm and power of Vedanta.

This is the watchword of all religions and religious teachers. Single-hearted love for God is also the aim and object of renunciation. No violence or hardheartedness is necessary in renunciation. It is a natural growth of the heart . when we love God with our whole heart and soul, there is no room for anything else and renunciation become easy. But renouncing does not mean running away from family, friends and relations, or being cruel to them. One can cultivate spirit of renunciation in one’s  home by practising non-attachment and unsafeness. The question may be asked, What do we gain by it? The highest reward for there is no greater good than to love God above all external things and to train knowledge of the Supreme.

But, if He exists?

I drive joy There was a doctor in Benaras who spent 7 minutes in the morning and evening for mediation on God. Knowing this, his colleagues and friends laughed at him. One day they argued that he was wasting ten precious minutes on something, which he had been misled into believing. The doctor replied, “Well, if God does not exist, I agree that I am wasting ten minutes a day. But, if He exists? I am afraid you are wasting your entire lifetime. I prefer to waste ten minutes rather than a lifetime. Why should you grudge me the 10 minutes joy that I derive 4m.

Illustrated live Reviews. 7thHEAVEN MOMENT Of the week Angels won on base ball as 7 ,   Bostonredsox no 7 got a Home run, in cricket sa decl 637, in f1 no 9 got a podium.  www.samratvision.com and get a Lucky7 charm email id