Monday, 09 April 2018
Try to build fulfilling relationships
Speaking Tree in TOI India, Spirituality
By Nayaswamis Jyotish & Devi
When faced with a problem, do we become defensive, self-protective, and
blame others, or do we use obstacles as opportunities to become stronger, to
learn and to expand?
Meditation is a process of expanding our awareness. Through meditation,
we discover deep within ourselves the soul qualities of peace, calmness and
love – and an underlying joy that doesn’t change under any circumstances.
This expansion of consciousness is the essence of spiritual growth, and
our relationships can be an excellent catalyst in that process. When we nurture
these expanded states in ourselves and in others, profound changes can happen
in our relationships. Instead of demanding, even subconsciously, that others
fulfil our “needs”, we can rest in the inner fulfilment and contentment we
experience in a meditative state.
Thus cooperation replaces competition, and the joy of mutual giving
replaces the tension of reciprocating demands. A great sense of relaxation
comes as we realise that relationships are given to us primarily to help us
learn and grow, especially in our ability to accept and to love. Relationships
lived in this manner hold the promise of deep fulfilment.
Friendship is the purest form of relationship. We choose friends for the
sheer pleasure of spending time with them. You will strengthen all of your
relationships if you make friendship the foundation. We automatically want the
best for our friends; we take delight in their strengths, and overlook their
weaknesses. We can laugh together with a friend, and, at times, cry together,
and we understand that our friendship is more important than getting our own
way.
Close and enduring relationships like marriage need to be grounded in a
strong foundation of friendship. Usually the first sign of the breakdown of a
marriage is that the partners are no longer friends. Very important for all
long-lasting relationships is an attitude of respect. Respect and love grow
from the same root.
Elements that build strong, healthy relationships:
Communication: Learn to really listen to your partner and friends. The
more you listen to the thoughts and feelings behind the words, the more you
will begin to commune in your communication. For partners, deep communication
is strengthened if you can share times of silence together, and even more if
you meditate together.
Try to bring out the best: Unrealistic expectations are poison for
relationships. It is only you, not others, who can make you happy or sad. The
fewer demands you make, the better. If you want a person to change, don’t criticise
what is wrong. Instead try to create a “magnetic opening” by modelling the
right behaviour.
True intimacy develops only in an atmosphere of trust. It is only when
people feel secure that they are able to change.
Share uplifting experiences: Your bonds with others will be greatly
strengthened if you share experiences that are uplifting and expansive – things
like walking in nature, helping others in need, or attending events where the
mind is uplifted. When we are inspired, our auras begin to merge with those of
our loved ones.
One of the most bonding practices for a couple is to meditate together.
By returning daily to your own centre, you will gather the strength you need to
face all of life’s demands.
DISCLAIMER : Views expressed
above are the author's own.
Speaking Tree in TOI , Spirituality
By Nayaswamis Jyotish & Dev
Quote from the True Charm and Power of Vedanta
Hinduism as a holistic vision of life
One can fashion from clay a donkey, horse, mouse and lion. Though
different in name and form, yet in essence, they are all just clay. One must
have the eye to see the clay in the diverse names and forms. In the same way,
we must alter our vision, which beholds plurality in the diverse names and
forms of the universe. Actually, the one reality or truth has become this
manifold universe. There is nothing that is not divine.
The universe is not separate from us, just as the limbs of our body are
not separate from us. Awareness, hitherto confined to our own body, will expand
as wide as the universe. It will not shun anything. Just as we feel the pain
caused by a thorn pricking our toe, those who have realised the Truth feel the
pain of others as their own. Like the heat of fire, the coolness of water, and
the nectar and fragrance of a flower, compassion becomes second nature to them.
Consoling others becomes their abiding nature.
One attains perfection when the sense of ‘i’ expands to ‘I’, from body
bound consciousness to embrace the whole universe, and experiences oneness with
God. Karma yoga, bhakti yoga and raja yoga are the different paths to attain
this state.
Sanatana Dharma is appropriate for any place and time. It propagates
eternal truths that will elevate the whole world. Hinduism aims to uplift
everyone. There is no place for sectarianism or narrow-mindedness in it. ‘Asato
ma satgamaya’ – Lead me from untruth to Truth; ‘Tamaso ma jyotirgamaya’ – ‘Lead
me from darkness to Light’; ‘Mrityor ma amritamagamaya’ – ‘Lead me from death
to immortality’; ‘Lokah samastah sukhino bhavantu’ – ‘May all beings in all worlds be happy’;
‘Purnamadah purnamidam purnaat purnamudacyate purnasya purnamadaya
purnamevaavasishyate’ – ‘That is full. This is also full. From fullness comes
that fullness. Taking fullness from fullness, what remains is fullness.’ These
are the mantras that rishis bequeathed the world. One will not find in these
mantras even the slightest sense of seeing anyone as separate.
The rishis beheld the one, supreme Truth. Usually, new creation takes
place in the maternal womb. But the very sankalpa, divine resolve of the
rishis, are actualised. Whatever they say comes to pass.
The word ‘matam’ (Malayalam word for ‘religion’) means ‘opinion.’ Hindu
culture is the sum total of experiences that the rishis, who lived in different
ages and who encountered the Truth, had. Hence, Hinduism is not a religion that
was created by any individual. It is not a principle that is contained in any
one scriptural text, but a holistic vision of life.
Follow Amma at speakingtree.in
DISCLAIMER : Views expressed above are the author's own.
Speaking Tree in TOI
By Mata Amritanandamayi
But, if He exists?
I drive joy There was a doctor in Benaras who spent
7 minutes in the morning and evening for mediation on God. Knowing this, his
colleagues and friends laughed at him. One day they argued that he was wasting
ten precious minutes on something, which he had been misled into believing. The
doctor replied, “Well, if God does not exist, I agree that I am wasting ten
minutes a day. But, if He exists? I am afraid you are wasting your entire
lifetime. I prefer to waste ten minutes rather than a lifetime. Why should you
grudge me the 10 minutes joy that I derive 4m.
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