Try to build fulfilling relationships

Monday, 09 April 2018

Try to build fulfilling relationships

 Speaking Tree in TOI  India, Spirituality

By Nayaswamis Jyotish & Devi

When faced with a problem, do we become defensive, self-protective, and blame others, or do we use obstacles as opportunities to become stronger, to learn and to expand?

Meditation is a process of expanding our awareness. Through meditation, we discover deep within ourselves the soul qualities of peace, calmness and love –  and an underlying joy that doesn’t change under any circumstances.

This expansion of consciousness is the essence of spiritual growth, and our relationships can be an excellent catalyst in that process. When we nurture these expanded states in ourselves and in others, profound changes can happen in our relationships. Instead of demanding, even subconsciously, that others fulfil our “needs”, we can rest in the inner fulfilment and contentment we experience in a meditative state.

 

Thus cooperation replaces competition, and the joy of mutual giving replaces the tension of reciprocating demands. A great sense of relaxation comes as we realise that relationships are given to us primarily to help us learn and grow, especially in our ability to accept and to love. Relationships lived in this manner hold the promise of deep fulfilment.

Friendship is the purest form of relationship. We choose friends for the sheer pleasure of spending time with them. You will strengthen all of your relationships if you make friendship the foundation. We automatically want the best for our friends; we take delight in their strengths, and overlook their weaknesses. We can laugh together with a friend, and, at times, cry together, and we understand that our friendship is more important than getting our own way.

Close and enduring relationships like marriage need to be grounded in a strong foundation of friendship. Usually the first sign of the breakdown of a marriage is that the partners are no longer friends. Very important for all long-lasting relationships is an attitude of respect. Respect and love grow from the same root.

Elements that build strong, healthy relationships:

Communication: Learn to really listen to your partner and friends. The more you listen to the thoughts and feelings behind the words, the more you will begin to commune in your communication. For partners, deep communication is strengthened if you can share times of silence together, and even more if you meditate together.

Try to bring out the best: Unrealistic expectations are poison for relationships. It is only you, not others, who can make you happy or sad. The fewer demands you make, the better. If you want a person to change, don’t criticise what is wrong. Instead try to create a “magnetic opening” by modelling the right behaviour.

True intimacy develops only in an atmosphere of trust. It is only when people feel secure that they are able to change.

Share uplifting experiences: Your bonds with others will be greatly strengthened if you share experiences that are uplifting and expansive – things like walking in nature, helping others in need, or attending events where the mind is uplifted. When we are inspired, our auras begin to merge with those of our loved ones.

One of the most bonding practices for a couple is to meditate together. By returning daily to your own centre, you will gather the strength you need to face all of life’s demands.

  DISCLAIMER : Views expressed above are the author's own.

Speaking Tree in TOI  , Spirituality

By Nayaswamis Jyotish & Dev

Quote from the True Charm and Power of Vedanta

Hinduism as a holistic vision of life

 Creation and the Creator are not separate; the Creator has become creation. The Hindu religion holds that realising this non-dual truth is the highest goal of life. The dream is not separate from the dreamer. However, to realise that what one saw was a dream, one must awaken. Even though God is everything, we see everything around us as distinct entities because we have not awakened to this realisation. We like some objects and dislike others, and thus, life takes on the nature of happiness and sorrow. But when we awaken to our own true reality, ‘I’ and ‘you’ cease to be. Everything is God alone. What remains is bliss alone. To enjoy this experience, Hinduism suggests myriad paths to suit different people.

One can fashion from clay a donkey, horse, mouse and lion. Though different in name and form, yet in essence, they are all just clay. One must have the eye to see the clay in the diverse names and forms. In the same way, we must alter our vision, which beholds plurality in the diverse names and forms of the universe. Actually, the one reality or truth has become this manifold universe. There is nothing that is not divine.

The universe is not separate from us, just as the limbs of our body are not separate from us. Awareness, hitherto confined to our own body, will expand as wide as the universe. It will not shun anything. Just as we feel the pain caused by a thorn pricking our toe, those who have realised the Truth feel the pain of others as their own. Like the heat of fire, the coolness of water, and the nectar and fragrance of a flower, compassion becomes second nature to them. Consoling others becomes their abiding nature.

One attains perfection when the sense of ‘i’ expands to ‘I’, from body bound consciousness to embrace the whole universe, and experiences oneness with God. Karma yoga, bhakti yoga and raja yoga are the different paths to attain this state.

Sanatana Dharma is appropriate for any place and time. It propagates eternal truths that will elevate the whole world. Hinduism aims to uplift everyone. There is no place for sectarianism or narrow-mindedness in it. ‘Asato ma satgamaya’ – Lead me from untruth to Truth; ‘Tamaso ma jyotirgamaya’ – ‘Lead me from darkness to Light’; ‘Mrityor ma amritamagamaya’ – ‘Lead me from death to immortality’; ‘Lokah samastah sukhino bhavantu’  – ‘May all beings in all worlds be happy’; ‘Purnamadah purnamidam purnaat purnamudacyate purnasya purnamadaya purnamevaavasishyate’ – ‘That is full. This is also full. From fullness comes that fullness. Taking fullness from fullness, what remains is fullness.’ These are the mantras that rishis bequeathed the world. One will not find in these mantras even the slightest sense of seeing anyone as separate.

The rishis beheld the one, supreme Truth. Usually, new creation takes place in the maternal womb. But the very sankalpa, divine resolve of the rishis, are actualised. Whatever they say comes to pass.

The word ‘matam’ (Malayalam word for ‘religion’) means ‘opinion.’ Hindu culture is the sum total of experiences that the rishis, who lived in different ages and who encountered the Truth, had. Hence, Hinduism is not a religion that was created by any individual. It is not a principle that is contained in any one scriptural text, but a holistic vision of life.

Follow Amma at speakingtree.in

DISCLAIMER : Views expressed above are the author's own.

Speaking Tree in TOI  

By Mata Amritanandamayi

But, if He exists?

I drive joy There was a doctor in Benaras who spent 7 minutes in the morning and evening for mediation on God. Knowing this, his colleagues and friends laughed at him. One day they argued that he was wasting ten precious minutes on something, which he had been misled into believing. The doctor replied, “Well, if God does not exist, I agree that I am wasting ten minutes a day. But, if He exists? I am afraid you are wasting your entire lifetime. I prefer to waste ten minutes rather than a lifetime. Why should you grudge me the 10 minutes joy that I derive 4m.

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How to deal with depression

Monday, 26 March 2018

How to deal with depression

Economic Times in The Speaking Tree | Edit Page, India, Lifestyle | ET

By Sadhguru Jaggiva Sudev

Often, I feel low and suffer bouts of depression, and this affects my work and relationships. How should I overcome this?

Depression makes you cynical; it is deeply self-damaging. Usually, depressed people will not cause harm to others; they will only hurt themselves. A depressed person is always trying to cause damage to himself. It is a weapon, but his weapon is not going to be used to chop somebody up. He’ll chop himself and make you feel miserable; that’s the way of the depressed. Why will a person go on hurting himself? Generally it is to get sympathy. For a depressed person, normal sympathy is not sufficient; somebody should bleed with him.

If your sadness is reminding you that you are incomplete, it is good; make use of your sadness to grow. It is very easy, when you are sad, to become compassionate. It’s already a dissolving kind of energy; you can use it for further dissolution that leads you to your ultimate well-being. For most people, without knowing sadness, maturity will not happen. If you have known sadness and you have known pain also, only then you are a mature person. You’ll never know compassion unless you know pain. Learning to use all your emotions creatively is very important.

In yoga, depression is handled at the level of the body, mind and the energies. If the necessary balance and vibrancy is brought about in the physical, mental and energy bodies, to be blissful is very natural. In a blissful being, depression can never exist.

DISCLAIMER : Views expressed above are the author's own.

Quote From the True Charm and Power of Vedanta 

Folly of the musk deer

 Economic Times in The Speaking Tree | India  

By Janina Gomes

A spiritual quest is not, as many would like to believe, a tangible experience. It is, instead, an act of freedom, a state of inner tranquillity. Remember the legend of the musk deer. One day, the musk deer of the mountains sniffed a breath of musk perfume. He leapt from jungle to jungle in its pursuit. The poor animal no longer ate, drank or slept.

He did not know where the scent of the musk came from, but he was impelled to pursue it through ravines, forests and hills.

Finally, starving, harassed, exhausted and wandering about at random, he slipped from the top of the rock and fell mortally wounded. The musk deer’s last act before he died was to lick his breast. And his musk pouch, torn when he fell from the rock, poured out its perfume. He gasped and tried to breathe in the perfume, but it was too late. The perfume that the deer looked for externally, was, all the while, contained in itself. The deer allowed itself to get fooled into thinking that the truth was outside, and neglected to look within.

So don’t seek the perfume of God outside yourself and perish in the jungle of life. Search your soul and look within. God will be there. The pastor of a mountain village said to a seeker: you will never get to heaven with your self-important airs, your moralistic reasoning, your stuffy virtues, your spiritual bookkeeping and spiritual investments. But you can reach Heaven with the soul of a child.

We need to share love and the gift of faith. We must learn to distil life’s experiences through the spirit and not only through the intellect.

DISCLAIMER : Views expressed above are the author's own.

Quote from the True Charm and Power of Vedanta

Going for an eternal high

 Economic Times in The Speaking Tree | Spirituality | ET

Once there lived a great guru who taught Vedanta. When besieged by those devotees who sought worldly happiness or material remedies for their suffering, she raised her hand over each supplicant’s head and solemnly declared, “May you become materially destitute!” This “blessing” frightened all, and angered many. Yet, those few disciples who understood its deeper significance marvelled at her profound wisdom. In the Bhagwad Gita,

Krishna tells Arjuna that this world is a place of misery where everything is temporary and where no lasting external happiness can be found. It is a realm of experience where birth, death, old age, misfortune and unhappiness are guaranteed to all.

Each of us is engaged in two universal activities: either we are occupied in trying to increase our quantum of happiness or we are desperately struggling to somehow reduce our misery. Yet, Vedanta says that our very essence is bliss and the moment we try to increase it from an external source, our miseries begin.

The Upanishads and all Bhakti Shastras ask the devotee to rest in a natural devotional bliss that is causeless, rather than upon an artificial pleasure dependent on any specific source. Krishna advises Arjuna to remain a warrior without, but a sanyasi within to move in the world, always ready to act appropriately.

The spiritual seeker sees temporal worldly joys and happiness as a distraction from the quest for the true eternal bliss within. Contrarily, each affliction and sorrow is welcomed as a springboard for a leap into the spiritual world within.

DISCLAIMER : Views expressed above are the author's own.

But, if He exists?

I drive joy There was a doctor in Benaras who spent 7 minutes in the morning and evening for mediation on God. Knowing this, his colleagues and friends laughed at him. One day they argued that he was wasting ten precious minutes on something, which he had been misled into believing. The doctor replied, “Well, if God does not exist, I agree that I am wasting ten minutes a day. But, if He exists? I am afraid you are wasting your entire lifetime. I prefer to waste ten minutes rather than a lifetime. Why should you grudge me the 10 minutes joy that I derive 4m.

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Measuring happiness?

Monday, 26 March 2018

Measuring happiness? 

From 122nd rank in 2017 to 133rd rank in 2018, India has slipped 11 places on the ‘World Happiness Index’. This ranking by the UN purports to reveal how happy the country is. On the other hand, Pakistan is at 75th position, despite being terror-ravaged.

Now, the question is: can happiness be measured? “Happiness cannot be measured. It’s to be felt,” wrote the German novelist Herman Hesse in his book Siddharth. Human emotions and feelings can never be measured or demarcated country-wise because human spirit is universal. Emotions are not differently felt and experienced by people of different countries. “What you call happiness/ Is pain to someone else/ Both are two sides of the same coin/ At times, friend and sometimes, foe,” wrote Allama Iqbal.

 

Such surveys are bound to be lopsided and fallacious because Pakistan is placed at 75th position, whereas the ethos and emotional approximations of the citizens of both the countries are almost identical.

India is a country that believes in karma concept and fatalism. “In India, even those resigned to their fate are so happy that an outsider can’t say that they’re unhappy with their lot. They’re the forever happy people and happier than the sages in the Himalayas and the denizens of Beverly Hill or Manhattan,” sociologist Meera Kosambi said.

So, measuring something as subtle as happiness according to country, place and people is not just erroneous, it shows the limited ambit of human intelligence and inveterate condescension of a certain group.

     

Economic Times in The Speaking Tree    

By Sumit Paul

DISCLAIMER : Views expressed above are the author's own.

Quote from the True Charm and Power of Vedanta

What really is religion?

 Economic Times in The Speaking Tree  

Many of the suffering, violence and hardships caused today are due to terrorism, allegedly inspired by religion, dharma. This is due to improper and incomplete understanding of dharma and sampradaya. Dharma is for the betterment of the world. Dharma is complete in itself and cannot be divided. Dharma of humanity can only be one. The dharma of agni can only be to burn or give heat. Dharma of other elements of nature is one and constant. Similarly, the dharma of human beings can only be love.

Other aspects are sampradaya, the different traditions and cultures. Today, there is conflict between various sampradaya based on different ways of invoking the Supreme. When the followers of one sampradaya think that their way is superior to that of the other, then that creates blind faith, hate and narrow thinking. This leads to creating a class which is not Godloving but God-fearing. This encourages cult leaders to sway people to follow their way and fan hatred for the other, whereas a truly religious or spiritual leader will advocate only love for all.

We should understand the difference between dharma and sampradaya. Dharma is universal, and for everyone. What is different is merely the way of prayer. The different way of prayer should not lead the most intelligent creature on Earth to bloody conflicts, hatred and division. We should be close to the essence of dharma and should be careful about the limited role and significance of sampradaya.

But, if He exists?

I drive joy There was a doctor in Benaras who spent 7 minutes in the morning and evening for mediation on God. Knowing this, his colleagues and friends laughed at him. One day they argued that he was wasting ten precious minutes on something, which he had been misled into believing. The doctor replied, “Well, if God does not exist, I agree that I am wasting ten minutes a day. But, if He exists? I am afraid you are wasting your entire lifetime. I prefer to waste ten minutes rather than a lifetime. Why should you grudge me the 10 minutes joy that I derive 4m.

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Choice vs Destiny

Monday, 19 March 2018

Choice vs Destiny

March 18, 2018  Economic Times in The Speaking Tree |  

By K S RAM

Are we free to exercise our will? Or are we just puppets going through motions in life according to a plan, predetermined by asuperior power? Philosophers have pondered over this question since ages. Omar Khayyam thought we were no better than water, flowing willy-nilly, “where Destiny with men for Pieces plays”. Khayyam’s stand is predeterministic. He hints at an unalterable script.

In contrast to this is the traditional view of Judgment Day of Judaism, Christianity and Islam. This view is based on the conviction that each person is wholly responsible for his conduct in life. The Hindu view of karmic transmigration also supposes choice for individual human beings.

Cheiro the palmist compares the human condition to that of a pendulum in motion. The view is close, in a way, to the law of gravity that recognises the interdependence of all bodies, animate and inanimate.

 What suffuses all beings and objects is te Alhl Pervasive: Vishnu or Vidyut in Sanskrit, the Ultimate Truth. To participate and submit to the collective rhythm of creation is to attain to bhakti, Narada conveys in his Sutras. This marks progress towards humility. Adi Shankaracharya calls it being harmonised, the samachitta.

The scope of individual will is to choose between confinement to the individual ego, and to submit to the Cosmic Self. Lord Krishna who embodies the Cosmic Self puts it succinctly in the Bhagavad Gita, “The worshippers of other gods go to them; My devotees come to Me.”

DISCLAIMER : Views expressed above are the author's own.

Quote from the true charm and power of Vedanta

How do we know that the Divine has heard our prayers?

Blog by Dadashreeji

Q- How do we know that the Divine has heard our prayers and we don’t need to pray for the same anymore?

Dadashreeji:

The answer for both these questions is the same. If you pray for one cause how do you know that it has reached the Divine?

Your heart will tell you that. When you offer your prayer completely, there is peace within your heart. All of a sudden you experience completion within yourself. There is no more desire to pray for the same thing afterwards. The moment you experience this within, that there is no struggle for it, know this well that your prayer has reached the Divine. He heard it. So when you know that He heard it you don’t have to repeat it again. The prayer has already gone.

But, if He exists?

I drive joy There was a doctor in Benaras who spent 7 minutes in the morning and evening for mediation on God. Knowing this, his colleagues and friends laughed at him. One day they argued that he was wasting ten precious minutes on something, which he had been misled into believing. The doctor replied, “Well, if God does not exist, I agree that I am wasting ten minutes a day. But, if He exists? I am afraid you are wasting your entire lifetime. I prefer to waste ten minutes rather than a lifetime. Why should you grudge me the 10 minutes joy that I derive 4m.

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